when affinity ends, nothing can make it stay

identity

After living for 20 years, I'm actually still pretty lost about who I really am, what am I gonna become. Not to mention, who my true friends are. Along the way, I kept calling certain people in my life my "best" friend(s), but in actually fact, are they really my best friend? Best friends are meant to be a two way thing, right? So if this person is a best friend to you, you should somehow also mean as a best friend to them, right? Actually right now, I think I still haven't find the right definition of it. Or maybe, I don't even know what i'm searching for. Same goes for boyfriend. How do you define a boyfriend? How do you decide if you want someone to be your boyfriend? How do you decide which are the feelings you're supposed to feel to be able to decide that person as your boyfriend? How do you know you want that person to be your boyfriend? How do you know that you like them, or when you love them? How's a boyfriend supposed to be like, or behave? What am to expect? After 20 years, I still have so much doubts. Only thing that doesn't come with a doubt, is that I'd been living a wasted life. 

the monthly woes

So, as usual, every month we girls will go through hell physically and mentally. Not just the great blood loss, we also experience mega cramps, which leads to mental disorders as we tend to want to pull our ovaries/eggs/wombs out of our poor little bodies.Physical torments aside, we lose friends/family members for a few days too before, during and after our periods. The crazy hormones in us starts changing, god knows why, and we start to get moodswings faster than the weather could change, we start to get pissy at everything anything, and we become less aware of our surroundings and to the people around us. There had been many myths and facts out there that people spreads around and it is said that those methods work(or not).The most common ones that were tested and proven is drinking hot/warm water, putting something warm on your tummy and painkillers(?). But if all these still isn't good enough, you can learn from some of these facts that I chanced upon on an article i tore out from the September 2011 Seventeen magz(say thank you!)

FACT #1: USE THE RIGHT PAD
Isn't this simple?! By using the right pad, we don't have to feel the itch/heat which are caused by some pads that have that super plastic-y feel which irritates skin that are sensitive. Most importantly, we don't have to be constantly worried about staining our shorts!!!! This is mega important to us ladies cause menstruation seem to restrict the clothes and colour that we wear, all because we're afraid of the "wings" being seen, or that the flow might be too heavy and cause staining to our skirts/shorts whatever. From my own experience, i choose to use those mega long and thick ones on the first few days of my period. Haha cause i'm damn kiasu, i hate the fact of staining even my panty, so long and thick pads are the safest! As the flow subsides, you can then switch to the not-so-thick one, but i'll still stick to slightly long ones just in case i sleep or whatever the pad moves or what. Then to the end, pantyliner can step in just to make sure that the period is finally o-v-e-r!

FACT #2: GO EASY ON SWEETS
So anyway, people always say to have sweet treats to keep your mood up to curb the pms etc, but it's not true! I guess the people who says that are natural sweet tooth haha. In the article, it states that we should cut down on sweet treats(!!!!!) such as cupcakes, cookies, ice cream because all these actually gives us a heavier flow!!! (NOOOOOO!) The reason being so is because... sugar causes a spike in insulin which is a hormone that causes our lining to thicken even more. So since we can't do anything but hate this hormone, why not just cut down on the sweet treats to safe our ovaries!

FACT #3: EAT HEALTHY
This is like guilt tripping most of the girls in society now, including me. All we wanna do is to look good without having to put in any effort, so the easiest is just to... don't eat lor. So again, according to the article, most girls/ladies suffer from diarrhoea/constipation and gas(i guess its constant farting?) during our menstrual cycle. This is because of some er, weird chemicals named Prostaglandins, which is the culprit that causes crampings and wrecks the same kind of havoc in our poor little stomachs. But fret not! Seventeen mentioned that adding some fibre, like fruits, cereal and vegetables to our diets can actually keep these tummy troubles under control! (YAY!!!)

FACT #4: TAKE A SUPPLEMENT
Everyone should know fish oil by now, right? That transparent orange-y capsule thing that stinks(to some). But apparently, this orange capsule actually might be our life saver for the monthly cramps! Research has shown that fish oil containing omega-3 fats can relive cramps! And to soothe pms, try taking at least 1000mg of calcium pills! Now i bet J is gonna make me eat like thousand so calcium pills alr NOOOOOOOO!

FACT #5: DRINK TEA
I have no idea to declare that people nowadays love to drink tea, or don't love. Personally, i quite like drinking tea! Cleanses my tummy after a really full and oily meal ^^ so anyway, it is true that drinking camomile(idk if its just this though)tea helps to ease the pain. It's because these herbal teas(not those liang cha) have polyphenois that helps to relax our uterus muscles!!! And to peppermint lovers, having a peppermint cuppa can also help to soothe the restless tum turn! nomnomnomz

FACT #6: EXERCISE HELPS
Living in Singapore, our lives are pretty much fast forwarded, because we all live in a very fast paced country. Work, school, and other commitments, most people hardly have the time for excercising. Even if we do have a little time left, we'll be far too lazy/tired to do it. But actually, exercising do help! Even though people say that it's not recommended to exercise while having periods etc, or you feel mad grouchy and refuses to leave the house with your mega black face, you can still exercise in the comfort of your own home! And to make it better, light exercising acts as an anti-depressant too! So if you're as lazy or unwilling to exercise as me, you can try brisk walking or dancing to shake these blues away!

So, to all ladies out there or to any boyfriends who needs to handle with the pms of your girl just like how my boy has to(hehehe), i hope these information do helps! :>

worth the while

Isn't it infuriating and mind boggling when you don't know where to find the strength to hold on anymore? When you can't seem to feel the way you did before, even when small little details don't seem to go the way you wished they would? Perhaps all we need is communication, mutual understanding and a heart that WANTS to and CHOOSES to love. We may not survive on only love, but we can definitely go a greater mile for love.

♥

love: trust

I think I'm still having trust issues. So are you.

I won't give up

I Won't Give Up - Jason Mraz

When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
Well there's so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find

'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, i won't give up

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that i can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use the tools and gifts
We got yeah we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn, how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what i got, and what i'm not
And who i am

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
I'm still looking up

I won't give up (No I'm not) on us (Giving up)
God knows i'm tough (I am tough), he knows (I am loved)
We got a lot (We're alive) to learn (We are loved)
God knows we're worth it (And we're worth it)

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

love: burdens

Decipher: When your mate tells you that you are an add on to their problems, does it means that you're being a burden?


things i do just for you to find faults, just for your attention.

Dreamcatchers

So, i recently picked a new hobby making dreamcatchers! And Joel says its a business opportunity. So i tried posting a picture of my very first dreamcatcher on facebook and on Twitter, just so i can see the respond and demand for the dreamcatcher, and obviously, my work too HEHE. to my MEGA SUPER MEGA surprise, i had many postive comments and that made me really glad. And i got super touched when Vanga actually shared it for me on Facebook like i'm some super talented dreamcatcher master lol but thats really really sweeeet of him ^^

so... here's a picture of my first ever completed dreamcatcher!